Peter are you kidding me? This hurts, that's how I know I've invested with no return. Some days I wonder if this is even possible among christian women. My heart aches when I realize how much time I've given to relationships only to be discarded for another, like a jilted lover. I realize that if you don't run in the same circles or suck up to others, you are rendered excluded. But I've come to the conclusion that I have erred in my broken thinking with some women I've let into my life. There have been heartache upon heartache and I'm tired. Tired of making deposits and not being able to withdraw. Tired of pretending that it doesn't hurt, that everything is great. Tired of hearing people say they love and care for me, but not seeing or experiencing it. Tired of accepting less than what I deserve. Tired of making excuses for others because we're sisters in faith, (Christians).
Who on earth would continue to invest where there's no return? You would change, wouldn't you? Well that's what I'm intending to do going forward. It almost feels like I need to interview, and lay down some ground rules for my relationships. Yes, I'll cry and I'll beat upon myself for a bit, but I'll be moving forward a little wiser than before. I will not stop loving, giving and sharing my life with others. I will however be cautious of whom I'm letting in, and make my intentions known upfront. Not everyone is allowed access to our hearts ladies, take some time, get to know who they really are and what expectations you both have of each other. We must allow Our Father’s love to permeate our hearts, clearing away the debris left from previous relationships. Then with the help of the Holy Spirit we will be much better making such decisions. I know by the way things affect me that I do have some lingering issues and I also know by the way others treat me that they're fighting some things as well. Ladies, let us intentionally receive God's unconditional love, work through our stuff, so the hurting can cease or at least be minimal. Peter, you do have something there after all, we can't "Love deeply" without loving God and receiving His love in our hearts by faith. There is a risk of hurt and or disappointment in others but we must risk in order to experience God’s best for us.
